Preparing an Ethical Christmas
Six Tips for a Happy Holiday Season
In her book How to Survive Christmas (London: Transworld, 1986), Jilly Cooper observes: "What should be a happy time for families to get together and enjoy themselves is so often regarded with unholy dread".
An action plan focusing on what you really want from the season can help prevent you from falling back into traditions that no longer work for you. This is a "mindful" or ethical approach to planning the season. Here are six questions you may wish to think about.
The Reason for the Season
1. What are you actually celebrating? The focus may be on the birth of Christ, but are you also reflecting on ideals (such as global peace or empathy between people of different religions?) You may be giving thanks for family and living comfortably, or marking the shortest or longest day of the year. You might have had a bad year with illness or other personal difficulties and be thankful to have "got through". Alternatively, Christmas may simply be time off work, an opportunity to "let your hair down" and "party".
Cooper notes "an uneasy mingling of festivals" at Christmas that can make it difficult to approach the season with any real sense of purpose, unless the "reason for the season" is thought through.
Rituals Suited to the Environment
2. How can you make your observance of the season fit its purpose, and also its "place"? The Suite 101 article Celebrating an Autumn Easter speaks of the dilemma of traditional festivals in the southern hemisphere, where the reversal of seasons makes many ritual symbols, such as Easter eggs, seem irrelevant. In response, snowman greeting cards are now unusual in New Zealand, and Christmas ornaments increasingly incorporate strawberry and cherry motifs.
One area that can be tailored to achieve your Christmas objectives is the festive meal. As recently as 1994, the Alison Dench-edited Kiwi publication Granny's Christmas Goodies (Auckland: Penguin Books) featured an entire section on The Turkey, as well as schedules for making Christmas cake and plum pudding. These days a growing number of New Zealanders are choosing to celebrate family and summer with barbecues or picnic meals at the beach.
Budgeting for the Holiday
3. How much do you want to spend? Each year many people invite New Year's disaster by exceeding budgets in an effort to meet societal expectations. Cooper observes that breadwinners often feel they are "falling short" at Christmas. "If you can't afford a turkey, a tree or presents, you can't run and hide." Taking a mindful decision in advance as to how to approach the season financially can help to avoid a bleak January.
Peace and Goodwill in the Home
4. What steps can you take to reduce stress and avoid family conflict at Christmas? Because people who may not often see each other are thrown together, sometimes in unfamiliar roles (for example older children expected to care for cousins) Christmas can be marked by arguments and even family violence. Setting clear expectations in advance (such as a moderate approach to alcohol, and acceptance of each others' differences) can be helpful. Christmas is not the time to try and "improve" a family member. As Cooper remarks, "praise and appreciation are crucial factors in making everyone have a happier Christmas."
An Earth-Friendly Christmas
5. What can you do to encourage a wider view?Do you wish to incorporate into your celebrations some action or education on feeding the world, or promoting harmony between nations? The Suite 101 article Planning for a Green Christmas provides some ideas on how to tailor your observance to environmental and climate change concerns.
Choosing A Happy Holiday
6. How can you forge your own Christmas path, without unhelpful comparisons to others?The key to a mindful and ethical approach to Christmas is to reflect on and protect what the season means to you and your family. According to research on happiness , status consciousness and society's tendency to rank people against people are sources of much misery.
Whatever decisions you may take in advance about marking the holiday , it is important that, as the pressures of the "silly season" descend, you are in a position to celebrate with a positive attitude and a happy heart.
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