The Chocolate Madonna

What are we to make of recent sightings of religious symbols in unlikely places?

The Virgin Mary in some chocolate drippings, Jesus in a CAT scan, the word "GOD" on an alligator (God writes in all caps? Really?) - it seems like the divinity is popping up just about everywhere these days! In modern times, it may have all started in pop culture with that fateful grilled cheese sandwhich (or was the Virgin in the flour tortilla first?). However these things get started, they almost all seem to end up the same place - eBay.

Let's analyze the situation. Let's say you're doing some spring cleaning at home one afternoon, removing pennies from the sofa cushion, vacuuming up cat hair and the like when you spot a large dust bunny in the corner. You're just about to whip out your broom when you realize that this is no ordinary dust bunny - it's a dust bunny in the shape of JESUS!! After a few "Hail Mary's" you do what any normal evangelizing believer would do: you alert the media so that all the unbelievers, heathens, idolaters and pagans may know that Jesus will indeed rise again, after all, he has shown his visage in the unlikely form of a dust bunny in your living room this lovely Spring morning.

Fine. I have no problem up to this point. But, if you really believe that Jesus has appeared to you in this dust bunny (or grilled cheese sandwich or whatever) why is the next step usually to sell the item? My understanding of Biblical theology may be sophmoric, but its my understanding that when Jesus turned over the tables and drove the moneychangers out of the temple, this was not an allegory, and the message is pretty clear. The Grilled Cheese Madonna sold for $28,000 - nearly twice what minimum wage earners in some states make in a year.

Maybe its just me, but if God in person revealed himself to me, he wouldn't be for sale. And if I was tempted to sell that toasted dairy sandwich, there's no way my conscience would let me keep a penny to myself. The money would go straight into the pockets of my local homeless shelter.

Of course, if you keep it and revere it as the manisfestation or incarnation of divinity on a pretzel, aren't you guilty of idolatry?

So the next time you see Mary in your marinara or Jesus in your French poodle's fur, do us all a favor and keep it between you and God. No reason to issue a press release.

But if Siva or Kali appears in your Cheerios, do give us all a call.